


Sanae Moon

by babybahamut



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybahamut/pseuds/babybahamut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eager to prove her worth, Sanae takes inspiration from her childhood. Humourous one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sanae Moon

“I know they're- ugh- around here somewhere-” Sanae coughed on dust as she rootled around a concealed crawlspace under the floor of the Moriya Shrine, rummaging through boxes before shoving them back behind her out of the way. Marisa mimed a swift kick at her raised and oblivious backside, hoping to raise a chuckle from the other shrine maiden, but Reimu was already bored of waiting and wasn't paying attention. Dejected, Marisa instead busied herself searching through one of Sanae's discarded boxes- this one full of small figurines: a pointy yellow mouse with a lightning bolt instead of a tail; a bipedal reptilian creature; five near-identical humanoid figures in multiple colours, their faces each hidden behind a black visor; a fat moustachioed man in a red shirt and cap. The effigies were bizarre, but she pocketed as many as she could for later use- the lizard wouldn't fit but the rest fit snugly in the pockets of her apron. Perhaps Alice would be able to figure out their use later.  
  
“Aha!” came the excited squeal from the crawlsapce, bringing Reimu back from her daydream and startling Marisa into throwing the box away, a few of the figures coming loose and spilling onto the floor. She sidestepped away as Sanae emerged, triumphant, dragging a heavy box full of books with her, bulging at the sides and impossible to close. She whipped out the first book on the pile and thrust it into Reimu's waiting hands. Every page was dog-eared, and the cover was still attached only by a miracle, but the contents were still readable.  
  
“'Sailor Moon'?” Reimu read aloud, the blonde girl on the cover beaming at her.  
“Yeah! It's really popular- I mean, in the outside world-” Marisa sidled over curious, as Sanae launched into a frantic babble. “It's about that girl- the one on the cover- Sailor Moon- except that isn't really her name, she's really called Usagi, and she's a normal girl and no one knows she's really Sailor Moon and she has a magic crystal and she transforms and then she can use magic powers and she fights monsters called youma and there's a boy-”  
  
Marisa plucked the book from Reimu's hands, which judging by her reddening face saved it from a grisly fate; she coolly leant back against a wall and flicked through the pages as Reimu's lid flipped.  
  
“Fight _monsters_? With _magic_? _That's_ your great idea?” she spat. “You dragged me all the way out here to tell me to do something I've done every single day of my life? We fought off six youkai just to _get_ here!”  
Sanae was unfazed, her eyes misting over as she went on. “We don't do it as a team! We could group together and wear matching uniforms- I'd be Sailor Moriya, you'd be Sailor Hakurei, and Marisa'd be-”  
“Sailor Drunk-as-a!” Marisa suggested, throwing a playful punch into Reimu's arm. “Don't getcher bloomers in a bunch, this might be a laugh. Check this out- 'Moon Tiara Boomerang', I reckon we could rustle up a spell like that, no one'd see it coming-”  
“Don't you start! You don't know the first thing about sailing!”  
“Hey yeah, good point,” Marisa conceded, frowning in thought. “Maybe we should rope Hijiri's ghost into this too, she could teach us?”  
Sanae interrupted urgently; this wasn't going to plan at all. “Nn! They aren't that kind of sailor, that's just the uniform-”  
  
“Hey, what about that one?” Marisa interrupted, pointing to the next book in the box. “'Death Note', that sounds-”  
“No! No no, no no no no, no.” She hurriedly folded the lid back over the box and shoved it out of the way, with a final “no” for good measure.  
“Keep one of those 'no's for yourself,” Reimu hissed. “I don't need any help with my job- especially not from you.”  
Marisa shrugged, and followed as Reimu left in a huff. “Hey, I'm keepin' this,” she called back, waving the copy of Sailor Moon in the air.  
Sanae didn't give chase, but called after them. “I just! Thought! If we worked together! We could become!... Friends...” They both were already out of earshot, and her appeal was lost to the wind; she sat down dejectedly on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, and sulked. Spotting the box Marisa had discarded, she pulled it closer and looked inside, taking out a well-worn plastic figurine of Sailor Moon herself. The paint had rubbed white in some places, but the articulation in her joints still worked like new. “Moriya Prism Power, Make Up!” she recited quietly, posing the figure appropriately, and then with a shaky sigh let it drop.  
  
Returning to the box, another figurine stood out to her, and she pulled it closer- a remarkably muscular man, his rippling chest bared and spiked yellow hair flying wildly. Wiping her eyes dry, she gave him a close inspection, new ideas forming rapidly in her mind. Gensokyo might have missed out on a team of Sailor Senshi, but she had heard talk of a legendary dragon protecting the Hakurei Shrine; Marisa and Reimu would surely both be interested in helping her search for his seven legendary treasures.

**Author's Note:**

> It might seem like I threw a load of cultural references together at random, but I put a surprising amount of thought and research into what a nerdy teenager would have had in her room before 2007.
> 
> Of course, this was inspired by friends talking about the new Sailor Moon, and I realised Sanae was probably a huge fan. Bless her heart, she's very naïve and enthusiastic and I imagine was quite disappointed when she found out Gensokyo doesn't quite work the same way.
> 
> Come to think of it, Sanae would probably have loved Touhou, too. 
> 
> It must be pretty lonely for her- taken from her friends in the Outside World to live on a mountain where the only company she has are the tengu, and any potential human friends far away in the Human Village for their safety. I can't blame her for wanting to take up youkai hunting like Reimu and Marisa and be part of their clique. Be kind to Sanae, guys. There's a bit of her in all of us.
> 
> I have never seen/read/etc Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball in my life! I hope I didn't get anything wrong.


End file.
